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Christy, this is a lovely subject and a well thought out drawing. I am sure your clients will be quite pleased.
I do agree with Steven on all points mentioned but do add that consideration be taken/tested how much to lighten the outline of the entire face on the left side our right.
I am of the opinion that it could go as far as the paper in some areas. Or balance the right side with the left side. This is just food for thought.
All the best to you
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