Rev. Bill Romer

Carolyn Bannister · 10-13-2005, 11:54 AM

This is a composition sketch for a pastel, my FIRST properly paid comission!!

The client loves the face , train, general feel but said maybe to crop some of the jacket?

As you can see I'm planning on leaving the bottom quite sketchy, sort of fading out, does anyone have any thoughts?

Should i stick to my guns or not?

From top of head to bottom of jacket is 45 cms ( 18 ins)

Carolyn.

Janet Kimantas · 10-13-2005, 07:26 PM

Carolyn, there are many here who are far better qualified than I am to discuss composition. I just feel that I need to say that I find this to be a very endearing image. I like it very much. Janet

Enzie Shahmiri · 10-13-2005, 09:01 PM

Carolyn,

If you have photo shop scan the image, duplicate it and crop the duplicate. Then set both side by side to evaluate the composition. The cropped version will bring the train more into the foreground. If you don't have photoshop you can always take a piece of back paper with a square cut out and place it over your monitor image to get a feel what it would look like.

I like this image, the play of the different textures and the way you have handled him. Personally, I do not care for the suit jacket, since I find it too formal for a hobbyist.

I also would check his hand, which holds the train, again-it seem a tad too wide.

Debra Norton · 10-13-2005, 09:15 PM

Carolyn, when I covered the bottom of the jacket with my hand, the rest seemed way too busy and complicated; at the top of the picture is the busyness of his face, and at the bottom is the busyness of the train, too much for my eyes to take in. But when the jacket is uncovered it all seems to balance out for me. I like it with the whole jacket, and I like the way you've faded it.

Debra Norton · 10-13-2005, 09:18 PM

I also like the way the curve of the jacket helps bring my eye into the picture, up his body, and through the train to his face.

Marcus Lim · 10-13-2005, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enzie Shahmiri

...Personally, I do not care for the suit jacket, since I find it too formal for a hobbyist.

I agree...in fact, if it's a more personal image you're portraying, how's the idea of adding more fun to it? Like maybe putting him in a workman outfit, plus an old train engineer's hat!
I'm sure the artwork will really wanna make him come "ALL ABOARD!"

Carolyn Bannister · 10-14-2005, 05:24 AM

Thanks everyone for the input, have put this question elsewhere as well and as usual have two completely opposite opinions

So i think i'll compromise, i'm not going to actually crop the image but will leave out just the bottom line of the jacket leaving space under the train to balance the busy-ness of the top half.

We did discuss the jacket problem, its not actually a suit jacket its a soft material more a casual blazer and his wife prefered it as it covers his rather large tummy

I will try and make it look a little more crumpled maybe? The original photos were taken in a sweater.

Now all i have to do is paint it

Terri Ficenec · 10-14-2005, 08:52 PM

Carolyn,
Sounds like a good solution

Congratulations on your first commission!!