'Softening' baby portraits, and multiple refs?

[Minh Thong]

Emboldened by the not-too-badly-done grandchild portrait I did last year, I'm attempting a charcoal portrait of my nephew this Christmas for my mother, using two photographs and a couple live sessions. One of the photographs is clear and is well-posed, but there's no likeness at all - if you can believe that one. The second photo contains a decent likeness, but it is not well-lit and it is so badly posed that it really wouldn't do at all as a reference photo. So, I'm going use elements of both for an initial workup, then 'flesh it out' from life. Given that I'm still relatively a beginner, do you feel this might lead to problems in the end product? If you were given this assignment as a paying commission, would you insist that the parents take the time to re-shoot a new set of photos?

Secondly, how do you professionals feel about softening baby portraits in charcoal or graphite, to simulate that fuzzy effect that many photographers evidently prefer for child portraits on film? Do you do it readily, or do you resist when a parent mentions something like this?

Thanks, in advance, for any help at all.

Phil Minh Thong