Lack of confidence

[Matthew Severson]

I've always suffered from this when it comes to my creativity and skill. I turn down multiple offers to do commissioned portraits. I even had a company offer a commission to do an entire wall of the characters and scenes from NewLine Cinema's "The Lord of the Rings".

I'm afraid that the result will be unsatisfactory to myself, or worse, the client. I hope this problem won't follow me through my entire future career as an artist.

I never thought preformers anxiety would show up in portrait art.

Matt

[Michele Rushworth]

Performance anxiety shows up in all kinds of professions. Don't let anyone kid you: presenting a completed portrait to a client is always stressful!

The more you paint and the more work you get out there in front of people, though, the less stressful it will be. As you improve your skills your confidence will also improve. As the saying goes: just do it!

On another topic, I wanted to respond to this:

. I even had a company offer a commission to do an entire wall of the characters and scenes from NewLine Cinema's "The Lord of the Rings".

A commission like that can get you in big trouble with copyright laws and you're better off not doing it at all. People often think, oh, no one will ever find out, but the Disney company has been known to sue preschools for putting Mickey Mouse murals in their classrooms. Don't bet that jobs like the one you describe will simply hide in safe obscurity. Better not take on any commissions like that one in the first place.

[Mike McCarty]

Matt,

I feel like I know a little something about this issue (unlike most issues I propound upon) and I have a specific recommendation.

There is a big, big difference between sitting by the fireplace sketching a horse, and taking another person's money for work that you have promised.

The good news is we can accustom ourselves to this sort of pressure. And in my opinion everyone, young or old, should go about the business of inoculating ones self to it.

In order to accept and manage the pressure and expectations of a commission, you should first build up your immunity by successfully meeting small, then incrementally larger, challenges.

Facing a major league curve ball, although I hate to admit it, is probably beyond my capacity. However, professional baseball players do it successfully every day of the summer. There success has it's foundation on the sand lot, little league, Babe Ruth league, semi pro and so on. Each with greater expectations than the next.

You can and should, in measured ways, begin to put yourself into stressful situations. Create some situation, albeit comparatively small, that brings about an expectation of your talent and skills. Even if you do a sketch of a friend for free (which is not a bad way to start), involve the friend such that they know what you are doing and that you plan to present the sketch to them at some point. What you have created is an expectation of your ability. You will be surprised what stress this little exercise can produce. The stress won

[Linda Nelson]

Matthew,

Before saying anything here I wanted to see your work, because perhaps that has something to do with it. In looking at your posts I see that you are 16. I had the same anxieties when I was that age, and I can tell you that you are just feeling the normal anxieties of your age and you have every chance of getting over them bit by bit as you your age.. Your drawing example is just great here on this site.

I would suggest to you to continue to refuse commissions and concentrate on drawing what you enjoy. If you want to share your work, then do drawings for friends for their birthday present. Or paint/drawing something you enjoy and be open to selling these works at a local art fair that are already done - this gives some sales experience but eliminates the "performance anxiety " of selling something that you haven't even made yet. I sold a few paintings myself when in high school and it always felt very strange but neat. The concern I'd have for you in worrying about selling anything is that it may change how you grow as an artist , for example picking a subject matter because you think is will sell vs. picking a subject matter because it interests you.

There's a time and place for everything. If you're feeling uncomfortable getting yourself involved in commissions, well I would say its your good intuition and not your fear keeping you from going there. Don't worry about it, just concentrate on what inspires you, and have fun playing with new techniques and compositions to find your artistic voice.

[Matthew Severson]

I'm glad to find out that it isn't an abnormal thing. I enjoy giving portraits as gifts to friends, but taking money is very uncomfortable.

I'm looking forward to becoming a professional artist, eventually.

BY THE WAY! I am on the list of scholarship winners at a local college. I'm not yet aware of which scholarship I will be receiving. Perhaps only a tuition waiver. Perhaps full tuition.

Matt

[Mike McCarty]

Originally Posted by Matthew Severson

BY THE WAY! I am on the list of scholarship winners at a local college. I'm not yet aware of which scholarship I will be receiving. Perhaps only a tuition waiver. Perhaps full tuition.

That's huge Matt, Congratulations! Keep us posted in the member news section.

And by the way, Linda gave some good advice above.

[Linda Brandon]

Matthew, congratulations on your scholarship! This is fantastic news. Be sure to keep us posted.

You're getting some excellent advice. I just wanted to add that portrait painters face some pressures which other artists don't face, namely, money is paid out for work expected to be performed in the future, as opposed to buying something off the wall in a gallery. Any time somebody expects future performance, performance anxiety could happen. And if people are paying money to you they could get awfully danged critical. Pressure! (By the way, I've seen some famous and talented actors go into a fear frenzy right before they perform. And then the moment comes and ... boom. They get it together.)

I think what has to happen is that you get to the point where it is more painful not to perform than it is to perform.

Just acting self confident goes a long way to creating actual self confidence. And, look at you, getting all these great commission offers! You must be better than you think!

[Peter Jochems]

My advice to someone of sixteen is to keep the pleasure in what you do, and try avoiding the pressure that paid commissions bring as long as possible. Just find out for yourself what you like to paint or draw and don't spoil the fun too soon, you may start to see it as WORK, just PLAY as long as you can. And avoid people giving large commissions like the one you mentioned about the LOTR, which might bring you in trouble in many ways.

[Carolyn Ortiz]

Hi Matt,

You are not alone! A lot of really great advice has been given already. My advice is, don

[Matthew Severson]

Thanks people, you are loads of help. If only you could help me do well on my college placement test *laughs*