Girl from work

This is my third attempt at pencil sketching. My apologies for it being a completed work, but I'd like to know mistakes that were made so I can correct them in future works.

The drawing was rendered on 10" x 8.5" sketch paper with graphite pencils.

Thanks.

This is the original photo that I worked from.

[Denise Hall]

Hello Eric,

I think you have a great start on this drawing and handle the pencil well. I have noticed a couple of things and if my attachment works I have pointed out her mouth being a little too far to the right (model's right). Her nose is actually the culprit. Look carefully at your photo reference and you will see this and be able to fix it.

I drew a couple of pink lines from her right corner of her eye down to the corner of her where her nose probably should go. Her nose is a hair too far to the right of that line.

I love the way you handle the hands and they are looking very nice. I would love to see some darks entered into this sensitive drawing.

Again, I hope my attachment of your drawing works and I also hope you don't mind my copying it into the printshop program and drawing the pink lines. I only did it to more easily illustrate my observations.

Sincerely,

[Denise Hall]

Eric,

I notoriously cannot get pictures to post. I'll try this one time and after that -- no more tries!
I hope you can understand what I am saying without the little pink lines!


So sorry!

[Lon Haverly]

Hey, Eric!

Third time? Pretty good! I have to say that the alignment of the features looks like the reference. But I would say that the jaw line, especially on the viewer's left, looks a little round, not flattering the face. Also, the light source is a bit vague in the drawing. It appears to be from the upper right. Perhaps increasing the contrast of the shading especially on the left would help define the face so that it does not look flat.

Thanks for your replies, and I don't mind you editing my drawing with pink lines at all. Something is definitely just slightly off. At first I thought it was her nose angled to the viewer's left, but on checking the photo, her nose is just angled that way. I did make a slight cosmetic change to her teeth (no gap) and I'm hoping that didn't throw it off any. I do see a slight difference in distance from the nose to the mouth. I almost hate I don't still have this portrait. The young lady has it now.

Lon, Yes, only my third. I did a self-portrait from a really bad reference photo as my first attempt and there was almost not a second attempt. Then I tried one from a black and white of an ex-girlfriend. I entered it in the Cleveland County fair last year and got a blue. This year I entered the drawing I've shown you and got a blue for it as well.

I just became unemployed as of July 19th and I've decided to try my hand at this. I just delivered my first commissioned work to a customer last week and I'm working on a second for her. I have about 4 more orders waiting beyond that. I'm hoping to turn one out every couple of days.

I'm rambling. I see what you mean about the jaw-line and also the darker shading on the viewer's left to bring out the light source coming from the top right. Both you and Denise mentioned darker shading, I think, and I agree. I'm a bit timid when it comes to that.

Thank you both.