Frustration

Am I the only one who gets very frustrated? I often feel like I am alone when I do this.

*ahem* How do you deal with your frustrations?
I am a beginner and have just recently begun with portraits. I just completed a commissioned portrait which was intended to be a practice run for me. This is of an acquaintance of whose face I found appealing.

Anyway, during the mid-way point I did feel the need to just toss my paintbrushes away and tear up my paper.

[Mike McCarty]

Hello Mary,

Is it cold up there yet?

I find that there is a point in every painting where you feel that you will never overcome the ugliness that you see before you. You have to fight through this phase. If you can overcome this brutal phase of creation, and work it through to completion, your confidence will grow. When your next painting presents this ugliness and challenges your will you have experience to fall back on. This demon never goes away, but your strength will grow and with each painting your ability to face down the demon grows stronger.

I'm referring to the ugliness of the process, not your painting above. Good Luck.

Mike,

Thank you for your wonderful and insightful response.

No, it isn't cold up here YET. I expect the cold to settle in during the middle of September. Until then I will keep plugging away at the anger that haunts my paintings.

I believe now after that first experience of madness, hindsight tells me to ignore any future occurances. Although, I believe the difficulty with the "demon" is the temptation to doubt oneself and question whether the task is even worth pursuing. It isn't until the end result begins to expose itself that your confidence begins to return.

I suppose this is an ongiong process and one of which we must continually wade through.

[Karin Wells]

Long ago an art teacher told me, "DON'T DESTROY YOUR WORK...no matter how awful you think it is."

I wish I had followed this advice about my early work. When I began doing portraits, I burned the ugly ones in the fireplace. I must have gotten lazy but a few of them escaped destruction and I recently "rediscovered" them.

Every now and then I get frustrated because I think that my work is not improving at all...in fact, sometimes I feel as if I am rapidly going backwards.

Anyhow, what a treat to see my early work again as I had really forgotten what it looked like. In viewing some of this awful stuff, I discovered that I have indeed made a lot of progress and found this to be encouraging.

I was also pleased to see that the places where I bogged down and got stuck are a breeze to correct now. As crummy as some of this work is, I can also see that there was some "talent" there...even though it wasn't apparent to many others.

I have some of these paintings in my studio (turned to the wall so that I cannot be blackmailed). Every now and then I take a peek and pat myself on the back because all those years of hard work eventually paid off.

Hang in there.

Thanks Karin,

I do have many of my first works and still think that I should color them white. Then I have to think again and realize they represent where I have been and not where I am going.

Your comments are helpful and encouraging. Keep 'em coming.

[Steven Sweeney]

Hi Mary,

In another area on the site, an interesting and irspirational book entitled "Art & Fear" is recommended and discussed. This might be one you'd like to get hold of (perhaps through Amazon.com), for some help sorting out the mix of feelings that we all bump up against from time to time in our art profession or vocation.

The link on this site is http://forum.portraitartist.com/show...=&threadid=693

You'll find specific links to Amazon.com in that thread.

Best wishes,
Steven

Thank you, Steven. The painting I have posted caused me the most frustration. That is only my fifth work.

I have seen many of your works and thank you for your time in responding to my post.

I will check out the book you have suggested.