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Mara,
I'm a bit rusty on my own drawing skills, but I do think you could try a light toned paper, maybe pale warm grey or beige. Nice paper like this comes in small and large sheets, but I have not seen these colors in pads or books.
Your critique of your own drawing seems to hit most of the important points. The problem of all over spotty shadows and lights might be helped using the toned paper as the light value of the skin. You can put highlights in with white pencil--but sparingly. Watch the right hand, too, as it seems overly delineated or too worked-over so the eye wanders away from her face.
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