Hi David,
You really have me thinking and I need to figure this out before we marry or my baggage will poison the relationship.
Basically, I agree with you. It isn't really a choice of "freer" vs. "overworked" but rather something that separates the true artist from others. I truly believe I lack this. I'm not sure what it is. It's somewhere in the mood, the composition, the thought process, the intent. Yes, that's it. You are well aware of my rushing through work and how quickly I paitn and draw. That's good for what I am doing now but for real expressive art I think I must either have a missing link in my creativity or I am too lazy to plan. My excitement is in becoming as technically proficient as possible. I am not nearly as excited and my mind is vacant in fact when it comes to conjuring up meaningful work. Well, there you go. I just labeled myself a renderer again. Living up to the power of suggestion. And that's the difference for me. I can draw and paint what i see to some degree of accuracy but tell me to innovate and you will be waiting forever.
It's not that I don't care so don't misunderstand. I just don't know if I have it in me. Okay wait, it's in me but I can't get it from my head to the canvas. That's more accurate. I think this is going to be a lifelong struggle. With any luck I will live long enough to create one really terrific piece of ART.
I can't thank you enough for the very encouraging things you have said and the compliments you have given. I am so glad there is someone who "gets" the struggle. It really does mean a lot.
When time permits I am going to go crazy with the tools. You all might be begging for me to go back to rendering but I'm still going to push.
In the meantime, I think I will finish these 10 pastels to the edge as most of you have suggested.
Thanks, David. You're fun and you will make a great spouse.