Young man's problems

Mai Ly · 05-05-2003, 05:25 PM

Hello Everyone,

This is one of my current work-in-progress paintings. Right now I call it 'Young Man'. It is oil on linen, size 20x26.

First I apologize for all the glare. Normally, I don't seem to have this problem, but with this one, it seems to really show in the painting.

The light source for this painting is supposed to come from upper, front (almost parallel to his right shoulder) left of the painting. I am very happy with the likeness, but having some problems with this paintings and would like some feedback, specifically on the following:

1. This young man's skintone is very pale. Something is bothering me. I think my values are a bit off, but I would like to have a second opinion from somebody else. Please see his closeup from below.

2. Angle of perpective. The cabinet and bookshelf is supposed to viewed at an angle, receding from the right towards the left. In other words, they are not supposed to be straight and vertical when you view it from the front (I am not sure if I am making myself clear). Does the angle of perpective look ok, or if I need to fix something?

3. Do my light and shadow look right in the painting, with the light source indicated above?

4. And (my biggest weakness) do my edges look ok?

I thank you all in advance for your help.

Sincerely,
Mai

Mai Ly · 05-05-2003, 05:26 PM

and here is the closeup

Leslie Ficcaglia · 05-05-2003, 07:25 PM

Mai, this is a charming portrait; the expression on his face is so alive and so pleasant. What a handsome young man!

I think if the light source is as you describe, there perhaps should be more light on his right cheek (on our left). There should also be more highlights on his suit on that side. This would give the painting a bit more life and sparkle.

The only thing that bothers me about your painting is his tie. The knot seems large and distracting, and the color is so close to the skin tones that it competes with them for attention.

All your edges seem very soft. You might want to play with the ones closer to the viewer and see if sharpening them makes those areas appear more prominent.

Nice work! Looking forward to seeing the finished piece.

Steven Sweeney · 05-05-2003, 08:42 PM

Gosh, Mai, I sure wish I had your

Mai Ly · 05-06-2003, 12:19 AM

Leslie,

Thanks for your feedback. I think I will change the colour of the tie to either blue or red. His natutal skintone is a bit pale, and I had a hard time getting it right, but am glad that Steven thinks it looks right. And yes, I think he is handsome too. I hope I have captured his smiley eyes with the square shoulders and proud posture

Steven,

Thanks for the popcorn and soft drink special! I am so honoured that you have taken time to post such thoughtful and detailed feedback. And I am flattered with the compliment!

I agree with what you have pointed out, especially with the jacket's torso and his left shoulder. I can see what you mean about the face too.

I am so glad that I posted this for critique because I was tearing my hair out, not seeing what is wrong with it but I 'know' , something is bothering me. I am going to implement all the suggestions from you both tomorrow and hopefully the painting will look better then.

I will keep you all posted!

Sincerely,
Mai

Mai Ly · 05-08-2003, 12:21 AM

I have tried to incorporate all suggestions in my current painting. It is now completed and posted under the Unveilings thread.

Leslie, I tried to put the tie in blue, but it seems to get blended in too well with the suit. Then I tried with red, but he never wears red tie, so it did not look like the way I ever remember him, so I left it the same colour, but fixed the knot of the tie, as well as made it a bit darker than the previous post.

Steven, I think I have fixed his left arm, and the shadow side for the face. I hope his jacket looks better now!

Thanks again for all your help. Please let me know what you think of the final piece.

Sincerely,
Mai

Timothy C. Tyler · 05-09-2003, 05:24 PM

Trust your instincts on the bookcase-draft it out and you'll see minor things count.

As to the face, you will note that the value under the jaw (on the bright side) is even darker than the face in the shadow-so I think you're right about the values.

Apples from life....answers await you.

Mai Ly · 05-09-2003, 06:29 PM

Thanks Tim for your feedback. You are right about the value of the shadow on the light side; it is darker than that in the shadow. I think I have fixed it now.

I also went back and rechecked my measurements, straightened a few things up with the bookshelf, and I think that it looks a bit better now.

I appreciate your time reading my post and your comments.

Sincerely,
Mai