Sorry, I have come in late to this thread. The main thing that I noticed from the beginning is how the warm backgound competes with the face for attention. If the suit were a more chromatic blue, I think you could grey down the background succesfully. I would also like to see an area of lost edges around the hair on our right.
Perhaps a go at these ideas in Photoshop would help visualize before going back into this lovely portrait?
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