Jimmie, Jimmie, Jimmie, if you only saw what mine look like when I am in a stress mode you'd wonder why you are stressing. If this is what you do when you are stressed I can't imagine what you will do when you feel like you have gotten the hang of it. I remember the first few times I used a pastel how awkward they felt to me, like I just didn't have much control (compared to drawing with a pencil). But once you get used to the way they feel in your hand, I bet you won't be so worried about what you are doing. You are definately a gifted man!
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