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Melanie,
My first mentor, and first husband said you have to take a vow of poverty to become an artist.
I have been struggling for about as long as you have. I am beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel and, no, it is not the train coming the other way.
I found I was not emotionally suited to do portraiture, I felt the same wave and so did Sargent who quit at the age of 50.
I spent a great deal of money promoting my work, models, paints, canvas etc. to do a portfolio; then slides, mailings, exhibits, societies, wardrobe and travel. You have to consider this as well because it takes a while to recoup these expenses.
Another alternative is to find something that pays you the most per hour that you can. We have a Whole Foods here, a natural food grocery store, that will give you medical and 20% off your food bill for 30 hours a week. I was tossing that around until I sold some of my big pastels.
I don't have a degree either but I was able to land a part time job at the Rhode Island School of Design, it is a private school and you don't have to have a degree to teach in one.
I was there for three years.
You severely under price your work. You can sit on it for a cheap price or a high price.
Keep sending out those slides. I was in the same contest you were (honorable mention) but I will not sell my work cheap. Build up a local reputation in Florida. There are some great galleries there, and they seem to like figurative work.
Do the most beautiful, full throttle work you can do. I know it is difficult when you get older when fatigue and worthlessness sets in faster than ever. There were times in the past when I would just sit down on a sidewalk and cry.
Rejections are still hard, I got one last week, but I am starting to get some notice from the art magazines.
I saw the movie "The Girl with the Pearl Earring" last night. There was a scene, that to me was most telling. He was sitting with his mother-in-law and a wealthy patron. The mother-in-law trills to Vermeer, oh it would be such a wonderful painting if you were to paint Meister A. with his family playing music or whatever. At this point Vermeer is studying the light on the lovely young maid's face and you could see that he was choiceless.
My husband said to me, he should have done whatever it was to support his family, however we would never have seen that exquisite painting. What was perhaps a loss for his family, was a gift to humanity.
I don't know if any of this helps.
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