Fear - Does it EVER go away?

[Tom Edgerton]

I want to thank both Michael G. for opening this one up, and Mike McC. for the great quote from Teddy R.

I used to worry more about the piddling and pencil sharpening and studio cleaning that I did in anticipation of starting a new painting. Then I had a creative consultant liken it to drawing a bow. The buildup of creative tension was described as a process of imagining the work, amassing whatever information or images--tangible or imagined--were to figure into it, pre-visualizing or rehearsing the first moves, and finally starting (releasing the arrow). I found I couldn't start without the other steps, but if I had done enough preparation, the final work came much more easily, as in Michael's experience.

I had told myself that doing the inner work wasn't really working, since I wasn't actually at the easel, and I wrongly castigated myself for "stalling." I've since relaxed about this, and let it happen. Even with a deadline, I try not to rush to the canvas until I've done the small study, etc. and found my way in.

To Mike McC's point, I tell my students that they'll learn more from a big failure than a small success.

Thanks to all for sharing on this one. We try to appear fearless, but it's not always the truth.

And at the beginning of the New Year, thanks for what I've learned from each of you.