The guy with the GUN

[Louise T. Dailey]

Ok guys. letter' rip. That's why I am here. I will say that this is my 6th oil portrait, and while I feel it is an improvement on my last, I know it needs some work. The gun being a part of the portrait, as well as there being a swamp in the background, was not my decision. I know, I know, I could have insisted on my own vision but golly, I needed that check! I was at least able to talk him into holding it down, instead of up by his face. This scan is slightly cool, and a tad cropped on the sides. There is actually more space to the left, and a bit of a cypress tree on our right.


Thanks!

Louise

[Steven Sweeney]

Just a quick note. I'm not at my home computer and, so, cannot "test" my observations in Photoshop, so I'll just rely on my eye (the quirky, old fashioned way).

No doubt this will be received very favorably by your client. It is quite well done.

Three things I'd consider having another look at:

1- The greatest value contrast in the piece is between the shotgun's receiver (between the stock and the barrel) and the shirt. That means that the very first place the viewer's eye is drawn when encountering the painting is the gun. The manufacturer might like that idea, but I think this would be a better portrait of the man if you took the value of that metallic area way down -- closer to but not as low in value as the shirt, as you still want enough contrast to create the illusion of depth. Not only is it creating the value-contrast problem, but it just doesn't look right -- it almost has the appearance of chrome. Even if it "really" is that bright and reflective, I'd take it down in value for the good of the overall design of the painting. The light reflection on the wooden stock might be just a little too high in value as well.

2- I think you could increase the value contrast between the head and the background trees a little to good effect. As is, we're almost losing the head into the similarly valued background. I think you could very realistically darken the area around the right side (our right) of the face, perhaps with an umber glaze. This will, I think, also help tie the foreground and background together in design, instead of looking like a photographed subject painted in front of a studio backdrop.

3- The edge of the neck on our right is a sharp one, which not only catches the viewer's eye but compromises the form a little. Softening that edge will help the neck round back in regression, as will lowering the value of the form as it turns back away from the light source. The value of the entire neck area might be just a little light, in fact -- for some reason, it appears lighter in value than the face, which reads oddly.

I'd probably also think about trying to vary the treetop "line" a bit, so it didn't read quite so horizontally. Introducing a few judiciously placed skyholes would probably do the trick.

Short and sweet.

[Alexandra Tyng]

Louise,

I agree with everything Steven has pointed out. I also want to add that the man's hair has no light/shine on it, and thus no rounding of the form of his head. Compared to the hand and gun, the hair and even the face do not have the highlights that I would expect to see in the corresponding planes. For instance, the top of his hand is a rosier, slightly lighter color. I would expect to see that color on his right (our left) temple and cheekbone, and a corresponding highlight in the hair. And the cool highlight on the left (our right) edge of his face leads me to believe he was painted inside, with warm ambient light, and a window providing side-lighting.

Alex

[Louise T. Dailey]

Steven and Alex-
Wonderful! This is just the kind of feedback I was hoping for. The reciever of the gun is indeed a silver metal (chrome...nickel...???) that has engraving on it. I will knock it back, and implement everything else you suggest. I too saw that the background looks like one of those studio photo places backdrops, and it has been really bothering me. I just didn't know what do do about it. I did actually take these reference photos outside just before sunset, and in front of a marsh :-).
Thank you!
Louise

[Alexandra Tyng]

Hi again, Louise,

I hope you are not embarrassed to post reference photos since the discussion on photos vs. life came up in the creativity section. I always like to see reference material if the artist is willing. It should provide clues as to why you are dissatisfied with the setting. It could be an overall problem of how to show the light, but I can't tell unless I see what you are working from.

Alex

[Steven Sweeney]

Originally Posted by Louise T. Dailey

The receiver of the gun is indeed a silver metal (chrome...nickel...???) that has engraving on it. I will knock it back, and implement everything else you suggest.

It may be (check your reference) that there are in fact reflected darks, or even oranges from the shirt, that could be worked into that metal to tone down part of it. A little bit of highlight will alone "say" metal more than painting the whole area "silver."

A cautionary note on the background -- don't go into it and create a lot of busy values contrast, or it will come forward and compete with your subject. A little bit of glazing or scumbling over an area, with perhaps a carefully placed highlight or dark accent, should work.

[Louise T. Dailey]

Alex- I don't mind at all posting reference. I came on line to do just that, and discovered that I deleted the folder with my reference pics, having checked my stash of back up disks and confirming that my hubby backed them. Well, he backed my first photo shoot with this subject, but not the second. ARG-this is the first time this has happened. I will just have to do my best without them. I'll be more careful next time, for sure! The clients do love it, but I kept it awhile to make these changes. Thanks again.
Louise

[Alexandra Tyng]

Oh, Louise, I am always so afraid of that happening. I know how you must have felt! Good luck with the changes.