Please critique Erin Ling. X-mas commission!

[Valerie Warner]

Hi,

Just my third oil portrait. Done from photo.
Will attach photo to next post. Please critique this for me. I'm going bonkers getting this done before Christmas eve!

Thank you!

[Valerie Warner]

Here's the photo of Erin to go with the above post.
Hope you can help here.
Val

[Terri Ficenec]

Hi Val-

Working under a little bit of pressure these days?!

What strikes me as needing a second look is the area around her mouth:
- the way the wing of her nose (on our right) relates to the crease formed by the cheek... To me it appears to be nesting right in the crease in the reference photo, where the painting has the crease bowing out.
- the shape/shading of the teeth, in the painting seems a bit too jagged on our right, also the teeth on our left could be pushed back a bit in value as they curve around toward the corner... in particular, that one eye tooth on the top left is jumping out
- also on our right, the crease shadow could be more gently blended into the curve of the cheek
- the shape of her lower lip is off -especially on our lower left, where that is also more shadowed in the reference photo. I'm also seeing a deeper dark where her lower lip shadows along the gum line.
- and there are some fairly sharp lines in the creases around (our) left side of her mouth, that could be softened.

Also, in the reference, the shadow along the line of her nose appears deepest to me where it is even with the line of the eye on our left, whereas in the painting, that shadow is ending just below the line of her eye, giving the her nose a different feel. ... you might also check the values in the whites of her eyes, they seem a bit bright.

And one last thing, the value of her hair on our right side of her head along that bright cheek is turned towards the light and higher in value that shown in the painting.

Hope that helps!

[Michele Rushworth]

I really like this. Nice job.

[Valerie Warner]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You have taken the time to give to me and oh man, is it appreciated! I will post my corrected painting Sunday. All of your points are well noted!
Honestly, your generous reply says volumes for your giving spirit.
THANKS! ! !

Val Warner
www.valwarner.com
What is an artist? A vehicle to illuminate the spirit making it possible for "regular humans" to SEE.

[Chuck Yokota]

I like this painting also.

A couple of additional observations: The shape of her chin in the painting looks a bit sharper than in the reference,as if the side on our right near the hair is off the edge of her chin rather than in shadow. The value transition from the top of her cheeks to under her eyes is more pronounced in the reference, which helps bring the smiling expression up into her eyes. Softening the edge of her hair against the background might help avoid pulling the viewer's eye away from her features, and avoid any cut-out feeling.

[Valerie Warner]

Chuck,

THANKS! Wow. I read your post and looked good at the reference and just sat here thinking aaaahhhh, and ooooohhhh and laughing to myself that I missed that. The oriental features were new for me so I was cautious.

Again, thanks and here's to a smooth, long day at the easel.

Happy Holidays!

[Jeanine Jackson]

There's a lot to like about this painting. Not easy and very well done, especially considering this is only your third!

[Jeanine Jackson]

Great Christmas Gift!

[Valerie Warner]

I'm Done! ! !
Thanks for all your help. The complete piece is posted the "Unveilings Oil - for everyone" section. It's my first paid commission so that's why it's there.