Emma at 12

Lisa Gloria · 07-01-2007, 10:27 AM

Hello, I would love to hear thoughts on how to make this a more effective painting. It's a little out of my element - I had planned it as a portfolio work to try to drive people more towards a style I prefer. So I thought I would do something much smaller than usual (it's 12 x 27 inches) to save time...but ended up taking nearly 5 months tinkering with it. It was important to me to retain brush strokes and sketchy bits, a moody feeling, and big impact from far away.

I'd love to hear what you have to say about the tone, mood and execution of the painting. Thanks for looking.

Alexandra Tyng · 07-01-2007, 08:51 PM

Lisa,

I like the way you've painted her very much. The pose, modeling and expression are well handled. The sketchy background is wonderful. I'm glad you left it just that way. You really know how to move a brush around.

The one thing that bothers me is the red urn at her feet. The color is so intense and it is crisply articulated (shiny), so that my eye is drawn towards it, away from her face. But I'm really not too interested in resting my eye just there--I'm more interested in the girl, so it is vaguely annoying. Also there is the question of why she is standing RIGHT next to an urn. It might help to push it back in space so there is just a little separation. Personally I would love to see another color, even blue/white. A dark cat might also be interestng instead of the urn.

Lisa Gloria · 07-01-2007, 10:58 PM

Thank you Alexandra - that's excellent advice. I meant the urn to be symbolic - with her being 12 and all, and the last shreds of baby-girlness just barely visible. And it's red because that's her nickname - "Red" - because of her auburn hair. (A little ham fisted, I know.

)

But I think you're right; it is pretty intense and distracting. I'll do what I can to knock it back. Thank you for your critique.

Marina Dieul · 07-05-2007, 08:22 PM

It's a nice painting, Lisa, I like it.

There's only one problem I see with it: the focal point is the bottom of the painting, because you have the strongest contrasts there, and the red urn adds a sort of optic red which gives even more intensity on this part.
If you want to have the focal point on the head, you should have the strongest contrasts there : the darkest background, the whitest whites, maybe some few crisp edges. And then you could add much lower contrasts at the bottom of the painting, have some very lost edges at the bottom of the dress, and tone down the urn.
Maybe it's possible to equilibrate the urn with some optical red near the head, where your whitest white meet your darkest darks.
There is an interrested thread about optical red here:
http://forum.portraitartist.com/show...ht=optical+red

Lisa Gloria · 07-05-2007, 11:59 PM

Thank you so much Marina. That does seem to be the consensus. I very much appreciate your critique - thank you!

Julie Gerleman · 10-27-2007, 10:14 AM

I wonder what this painting looks like now? It's very lovely. Same with Alexandra and Marina, my eyes go directly to the urn at the bottom. I wouldn't think you have to change the composition at all, but what about strengthening the color harmony? If you worked some of the reds from the urn into the atmosphere in the upper part of the painting, and cut some hard edges around her shoulder or head, that might do the trick.

David Carroll · 11-11-2007, 06:19 AM

Ditto what's been said. I think your idea of the urn is good , but it looks to stacked in a row to me. My eye wants it to balance the composition with it by putting it a little further back and left.

I really like the vessel concept, and you painted her beautifully.

Peace, Dave

Enzie Shahmiri · 11-17-2007, 11:05 PM

Lisa, it is lovely! You did such a wonderful job with everything that you really need to pay closer attention to her fingers. The anatomy of her left finger is off and that to me weakens the wonderful underlying drawing skill you have shown elsewhere. Can't wait to see the final result being posted!