[Mark L. Staker]

I've enjoyed this site as well. I appreciate Cynthia Daniel's efforts in creating this forum for those interested in quality input toward their work and to the moderators and others who contribute their time to help us all become better. Although this is the first time I've posted, which I'll explain below, I've been a member for some years now. I joined Wet Canvas and other sites several years ago as well but have only continued to visit this site because I rarely have time for "chatty" or social elements that are often part of many discussion groups but I'm interested in well informed input and insight that I find here regularly.

I'm one of those who went through the admission process and was accepted to the site but subsequently haven't posted anything. The reasons I haven't are complex and I'm not sure if I can adequately share them. However, I'll give it a shot.

Although there are minor issues (such little things as I haven't taken the time to get a little picture to accompany my comments, etc.), there are two primary reasons why I haven't participated--both related in some ways. I'm basically selfish and too self-critical.

On the selfish end of things, I see this forum as a real community of artists; and like any community it takes time--time to be civil, prepare thoughtful responses to others queries, craft a question that will be helpful to everyone, and so on. It's too easy to come to the site, read for a few minutes, and move on to other things. As a full-time museum curator with lots of community involvement, I'm only able to fit my own production into a very small window of time. Although I often get by on four hours of sleep, like most people I need close to six hours a night to keep going. (I've helped promote the career of an artist who made the transfer from the commercial arena to full-time professional by painting almost all night for a few weeks but it doesn't work for most people.) Therefore, I've chosen the selfish route and haven't given back like I should. I recognize that giving serious thought to an issue as part of the dialog process actually promotes learning. Giving speeds up the learning process. But it becomes complicated with exhibit deadlines or other commitments to maintain participation in quality groups such as this.

Certainly the logic of such arguments fall short and time concerns are not insurmountable. Becoming too self-critical of what I have to offer is probably the bigger issue. Although I can remember a passion developing for actually producing art when I was younger than age four, I used scholarships and other opportunities as they opened to develop a cognitive approach to art and history. If you've had the chance to sit in on one of Timothy Asch's courses on Visual Anthropology at Harvard or learn about the concept of gazing (or looking) among the Hemba in eastern Congo from Tom Blakely (information I think is in his recent book _Seeing Anthropology_ although I haven't had a chance to read it yet), then I don't think you'll blame me. Because of this, creating my own art has been called a "hobby." (I put this word in quotation marks because I've been irritated more than once by someone calling my painting a hobby--something that sounds like an activity to fill up extra time when it's a passion that I can't indulge in enough because there just isn't enough time.) To keep this short, I'll just say as I read the brilliant insights into the process of painting offered by members of this forum, I'm quietly grateful but realize that this site isn't the appropriate place to share my own doctoral research on other esoteric art traditions or the process of doing museum curation. Part of the self-critical approach is wondering if I really have something to contribute when talking about the painting process. (The same thing probably applies to other aspects of art production as well. Since I sit on a committee that acquires major works of art on a regular basis and frequently work with professional artists on projects, I often get artists--some quite accomplished--who come to me with a look of desperation asking me how to make a living for their families. I usually say enough to satisfy them and send them on their way but quietly I think to myself that if I had a real good answer to that question I'd be painting full-time). I can see this is starting to turn into an essay so I'll stop. Perhaps a final reason I don't write is I can't tell when to quit talking and usually say either nothing or too much. So I'll quit here. Thanks Cynthia, once again, for such a wonderful site. I'll try to be less selfish in the future and look for ways I can share.

Mark