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If you let them see the photos, you're sort of presenting yourself as a portrait photographer. And the painting better be a replica of the photo that the client has chosen to fall in love with. As painters, we're not attempting a "photocopy" of one medium to the other (pixels to paint), so don't allow your client the opportunity to think that's what you do.
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Mari, I think that has to do more with setting client expecations. I purposefully tell my client that we are creating a painting and not just a copy of a photo - thereby, I may change lighting, form, pose, color, or any other thing as it suits the composition and the work itself. While I do provide the client with a photo, I let them know that our purpose is not to just copy the photo, but to create a new artistic work using the photo as a reference tool.
Further, if you want to paint portraits from photos, then you will need to develop the skill of a portrait photographer as well - you are taking the photos, they are part of the artistic process. You might as well give the client the benefit of the photo session as well - my opinion. Maybe you could charge them for it, but to me, it's part of the service I provide.