Joan, I really sympathize with your dilemna and I think you hit on it right here:
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Originally Posted by Joan Breckwoldt
we ended up comparing the portraits to the reference photos I used. . . . I would rather not have had to pull out the reference photos. . . . I just never dreamed I would have to pull out a reference photo at the end and have my work judged by that!
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Sometimes we feel pressured into doing or saying something simply because we had no idea we would be asked to do something, or in this case because you wanted to prove that the mouth was indeed correct! We get put on the spot and lose control of the situation.
I agree with Ilaria that you should make it a policy never to pull out your reference photos and let the client compare them to the portrait. I'm sure you already can imagine ways in which this might turn out very annoyingly.
Instead,
mentally prepare yourself that the client will have something to say. Invite the client to come in when you have done the initial block-in, so they feel part of the process. Then, when you feel you are nearing completion, call the client, say you are almost done, and invite them to make any comments they like. If they ask to see the reference photo, explain you don't work from just one photo, and what you are really interested in is
their reaction to the painting. Does it look like the person? Does anything bother them? Is anything slightly off? Do NOT disagree with them! But tell them not to worry about
how to fix it, that it's your job to figure out how to correct the problem. Listen with an open mind and understand this is a process you all must go through. Write down their comments if you wish. Then, after they are gone, look carefully at all your reference photos and see whether there is anything that could be causing the problem. A "wrong" mouth could actually be an incorrect proportion in an adjacent part of the face. It really is your job to double-check this. Hold the photo and the painting in the mirror if necessary. If you really don't feel a change is in order, you can always pretend you've worked on it (it's not a lie because you've at least considered it carefully) and often the client will be pleased the second time around. Once a client asked me to lighten the blue of a child's eye, which took me all of 2 minutes. But it made her happy. Tell your client that the portrait is not considered finished until they are satisfied. But once it is paid for, then that's it.