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April, First I must tell you I think both these portraits are lovely and I don't know how you manage to do them in one sitting! I've never tried the wipe-out method for the very reason that I'm sure I would look at it the next day and find some mistake that I couldn't correct.
That said, I think the critiques you have gotten are good. I also think the rounded part at the bottom of the nose on our right is slightly too light. In the photo, it is about the same value as the same side of the cheek in shadow. If you darken the shadow slightly around the base of the nose on the right side, you can correspondingly darken the nose. I also notice that you have made the mouth on our right curve up too much, but I am not sure you can fix it at this point.
Alex
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