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Garth,
If you don't like flash, why did you paint this portrait of your grandfather from it?
It is clearly not a win-win situation.
Getting good reference is somthing that is stressed over and over on this Forum.
Personally I prefer to paint from life, because of the information an actual subject gives you, especially richer and more subtler skin tones and a more harmonious realtionship to the background, softer edges, reflected color, etc.
In lieu of that a good photograph properly shot in daylight would be second best as reference.
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