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Mary,
Think of the head as being an egg.
This is one of those statements that is so obvious that when I say it, eyes roll in the head of many listeners and I am immediately dismissed. However, it is one of the most profound statements in the creation of a portrait. There is not one head produced by a master that is not clearly, simply, and three dimensionally an egg shape, and this three dimensional shape is missing in the vast majority of non-masterful works. It is an easy fix, but so easy to overlook.
On to your portrait. If you think of your grandfather's head as being an egg shape, the light will be only on the top of the egg, the forehead. There are too many light portions, I call them "hot spots" on your grandfather's head, the sides of the face and jaw as it hits the background, the sides of the mouth, the cheeks, the sides of the nose, the back of the neck and the neck under the jaw, are all the same value as the highlight on the forehead. You are missing the solid, three dimensionality of the shape of the head.
Your drawing abilities are strong, the next step is to create a solid structure involving the control of values and the creation of a sense of space and dimension.
I have attached a detail of my portrait of the Charlton family. You can see the "egginess" of the three heads.
Peggy
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