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I actually like this new color scheme. For what it's worth anyway. The colors wouldn't be so pure. There would be some of the background color affecting the shadows of side and top planes it reflects into. The same goes for the color of her suit. It would reflect into his suit and into the under planes of her jaw. Colors reflect and bounce everywhere. Your painting looks more like a hand colored photo than a harmonious scene. It's very difficult to make these things up though. It really needs to be observed from reality. The best solution is to set up everything so it looks good before you paint it. That's what Sargent and Paxton did, just to name two.
The thing that bothers me the most though are the dark value shadows under his jaw. Look at your photo. See how much darker the light part of the suit is compared to his jaw shadows. You have knocked the intrinsic value relationships that existed in your setup and thwarted them. The result is an unnatural look. Scumbling over these shadows with a lighter value would help.
Good luck.
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