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Jeremiah,
This is a pretty fair go, for translating a highly finished oil painting into a graphite rendering. The fact that so much of the form-defining work in the painting is done through variations in color temperatures of similar value, rather than simply a chiaroscuro type of value design, complicates this a little, but it also provides a good exercise in assessing the relation between color and value. More about that in a moment.
The most notable difference is, to my eye, the tilt of the head
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