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I hope you don't mind Photoshop suggestions but I have shown what you might want to do in the areas I mentioned above.
In this example I also straightened the line of her upper lip. When that shape is convex like in your drawing, it contributes to that squint/sneer expression.
There are muscles that lead from the upper edges of the lip up to just outside the nose wings. (I don't remember the name of those muscles, though Peggy Baumgaertner with her medical illustration background could tell us). When someone squints, not only do the eyes change, but those muscles contract. They cause that sneering effect that you see in the widening of the nose wings, the deepening of the upper part of the nasal-labial fold, and the convex shape of the upper lip.
When you change those areas just a little, the expression immediately relaxes and becomes more pleasant, without losing the likeness.
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