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Clive,
Is your photo of the portrait scanned too light? It seems the different areas, dress, skin, background are all a little washed out. If the scan is correct, I would start there. If it is indeed too light, could you repost it?
Compositionally, the shadow behind the figure is too small and close. She appears to be leaning against the back wall. Even if that was your intention, I would fan the shadow area out behind the chair and out of the painting on the left. This would give the figure some breathing room.
On the dress, I wouldn't be afraid of going dark. Because it is a black dress, and it is in the foreground, it will be the darkest value in almost any painting you will do. In the painting, the background appears darker than the dress. This would not happen even if the background was also "black" (a drape, perhaps), because atmosphere would make the background go to a lighter value.
Peggy
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