Simple Charcoal
 

Hi,
it's been a long time I wasn't around....
Here is a very simple sample of a head and shoulders I made for an auction.
There's a little something that bothers me but I can't point exactly what...
Or maybe I just need fresh eyes ?

Hi Marina, yes long time. When we get working we at times do not know how to rest. This is a portrait well done.

Allow me to suggest a thing or two that mite start you thinking. First, when I compare the dark part of the eye one to the other there is a difference in size. I would have a look if it is so in real life even at a angle or perspective.

Even though that this is a simple drawing I think I would indicate the planes of the chin and around the moth a bit more. I think that if you do this it will relate to the structure of the face better and partner with the nice nose.

You have depicted the hair quite nicely still the front, on the for-head seems like a bad haircut.

One more thing, on the light side the light line that runs from the nose across and bottom of the cheek seems to light and resembles a gash or a channel. Even though the cheek in light is receiving most of the light one should be able to notice the planes of the face.

I hope I struck a chord of inspiration.

All the best to you

Ah! I have to laugh here! You're absolutely right : IT'S a bad haircut ( but she's very proud of it : she made it herself with her own little scissors !

I think I should completely change this, and draw her hair as they were before she played to be a hairdresser.

Thanks for the other suggestions. I was happy because I drew this quite quickly, but then a lot of small adjustments in value, shape, (etc..) appeared, and finally I think it will take the same time as always...

Marina, I was willing to accept the hair as a "style," though it does seem a bit solid, especially, for example, as it falls below the far side of the chin. I wonder if that lower line of the hair form might be broken up a little. Even a few narrow lifts with a knife-edged kneadable eraser.

The very first thing that came to mind, however, when I first opened this image, was that the crown of the head seemed very high, given what appeared to be the pose of the head. It couldn't be explained by a full hairstyle, because the part -- close to the scalp -- works its way to the back of the head. I wouldn't have expected to see such a sharp rise from the forehead in the front to the crown in back, unless her head were tilted forward, which it is not.

That may well be accurate, and I'm not saying it's "wrong," just unusual and perhaps something to take a second look at.

Steven,
I know that your first impression is good, because I was working on something else this afternoon, and when I raised my eyes on this drawing, I immediately found the skull was too high, not round enough...

I will try to find some time tomorrow to rework on it and to post the changes.

It's sometimes difficult to decide when to stop the minor adjustments ( it seems sometimes that you can continue forever) but for this one , my eyes were telling me that there was more than a few minor adjustments...

Thank you for taking the time to look at it !

Hi Marina,

Your work is such an inspiration to me! I actually love the girl's haircut and the way you've drawn it! i love her eyes and the calm expression in them as well.

It seems as though her nose may be jutting a bit too far forward... usually the crease where the nose meets the cheek is more in line with the inside corner of the eye. However her face may be just like that. Another thought I have is that I might like to see that far edge on the bottom of her nose receding a bit more into the shadows, essentially just softening the detail in that area. That might help to bring the focus more on those mysterious eyes!

Christy

Thanks Christy,
I also liked very much those eyes.
One of the problems I had, is my reference was on a black background, and the hair were integating the background, making difficult to see where the head stops at some places.
I decided to put her on a white background because I wanted things to be very simple, but I decided to change that to integrate more the figure. (maybe I will finish with a black background as often...)
I reworked lots of details you pointed all, and many others too

So today it looks like this, and I don't know yet what to think about it, I just need to stop watching it.

Taking a step back and looking at it with fresh eyes a day or two later is always helpful.

Anyway, I think in adding this darker background you've made a vast improvement on it. To my eyes it's lovely!

Marina, I like the change with the background. Would you consider gradually lightening the shadow side, darkest being on the light side above the head? I like the way you have adjusted the bangs. I do find the straight white line above the bangs unnatural. The eyes look lovely and moody. Maybe a hint of light on the light side, just a thought.

You have shaped the hair, the eyes, the nose the mouth beautifully but the planes of the face do not seem to be there. The shadows on the shadow side are there but the reflected light the Rembrandt light for some reason do not seem to work. Sure it looks nice, cute, well done but I think you could do more to make her look real.

On the neck, should there be some reflected light on the far shadow side? Should there be some light trickling down her shoulder and to the front?
I know, I know, I'm pushy.

I wish you nothing less but the best.

Dear Marina,

Stop, it is fini. Lovely piece. (And there is nothing simple about charcoal.)

What a difference
 

Marina,
What a difference the background made and the few minor adjustments you did to the hair/skull. It's done. Don't touch it!!!
It's a lovely piece for you to show potential clients.

Patty

Marina
 

I can see a few small changes that I would make but I won't mention what they are because I also think you should stop here, I can only say that I,ve had so many drawings end up in the trash because I've over worked them.
This is a stunning drawing your edges are amazing and the toned background and adjustments to the top of the head I think have brought it to completion.

Quite right, Chris
 

What is there to critique about this? It is lovely.

Thank you all!
I adjusted again few things like toning down high lights in the hair ( it's always a temptation to make them lighter than they should be)

But this time, I consider it's finished !

Marina,

Sorry I didn't see this lovely drawing! Simplicity is refreshing for an artist. Her face and hair are so sensitively drawn. Something i've alway liked and admired about your work, aside from your approach to allegory and meaning, is the way you balance the impression of meticulous attention to detail with a very visible mark, or stroke, that reveals the way your painting or drawing was made. In other words, it feels finished without being too polished.

I like the changes and the darker background which gives the drawing depth and atmosphere.

Marina, I just spotted this also - this is haunting and so sensitively executed. (You are "trailing off" the bottom of the drawing the way that I also like to draw head and shoulders portraits. I like the combination of mass and line, the sense of movement and caligraphy that it gives to form - I suppose this is a matter of taste, which means that I very much like yours.)

Simply beautiful Marina. You also have mastery of the "beautiful line".

Jean

Marina, this is clearly you ! I am not sure if it is a commission but definetely you made the subject yours. Your technique is just so perfect that it hides itself behind these intense eyes.
Ilaria

Alex,
thank you. I think I was more meticulous few years ago, I could have become a photo-realist... But it would certainly have been too boring for me. Now, I focus more on the entire picture, on the balance of value massing, before entering in the details. I like more and more playing with the materiality of the medium . There is no secret recipe: practice, practice , practice...

Linda and Jean,
thanks a lot. In this drawing I decided that the line would be present. My natural tendency is to work by mass, but I admire lines in other's works so I pushed myself a bit to combine the 2...(and it's sometimes very hard to resist to nature!)

Ilaria,
I'm glad you like it. There was only 2 things that I was sure about since the beginning : I wanted a white background ( which is a failure) and I wanted those eyes like 2 black marbles.
No it's not a commission ( a sample for an auction ) and yes the subject is mine.

Captivating
 

Marina,

This is really fabulous. That face is so very beautiful and engaging. And thank you for posting the earlier versions - it's so instructive for us to see your process leading to this successful completion.

David