Commission for a grandson
 

Hi -

This is a commissioned piece of a man aged 95. His grandson commissioned it. I did not get to take the original photo, as the gentleman lives many states away.

I've taken the drawing as far as I can at this point, and would welcome critique.

The reason the piece has a black background is that the client saw my drawing of "Bertie in Black and White" (renamed "Bea" on the PSA website) and said he wanted it drawn and framed "just like that". I'm softening up the framing a bit, but didn't think I could get away with a lighter background.

Please...
 

Aw, come on guys, help me out. Tell me what you see that's off. I know there are lots of places that don't look quite right and really would like feedback.

Please be aware that this is not the greatest photo of the art. The value differences are greater than this, but when I try to darken it in Photoshop, it seems to emphasize the grain of the paper, and it looks bad, so I didn't share the slightly darkened version. Not sure what I can fix here, but I would still like suggestions.....I didn't like having such a light color shirt, so tried to tone it down. Should I make it even darker?

Hey Julie,

Although I like the drawing, there are things that bother me that were more noticeable when comparing to the reference. The values and contrast seem off, not everywhere, just here and there.

When changing it to a very dark background, maybe some of the darks should have been made darker, along with the mids and some of the lights. You've adjusted the shirt, making it a mid instead of light, but the hair, I feel, is much too light. Above his ear is even lighter than the reference giving the hair a flatter appearance. The shadow in the cheek areas, with a little reworking should go back in space properly.

I would take it slow, gently working up the darks and mids until it fits better with such a dark background, just don't go overboard!

ps. wait until you get another opinion before going ahead with mine. ;)

Sorry I took so long typing, I started typing before you started asking for more help, and my reply came after you.:o

Julie,

It's beautiful and it's done.

It's more than the photo ever was, what a lovely job.

Now what?
 

Thank you, Jimmie and Chris. But, gosh, now what do I do? Such a difference of opinion!

I agree with Jimmy that the hair is much too light, mainly on (our) left side, where it should be darker against the background. And I do feel there are value issues, or wouldn't have pressed for feedback.

I'm toying with the idea of lightening up the background a tad just to avoid what to me feels like a "cut out" appearance. I would have to use pastel to do it, though, since it is really ground in there - pastel/pencil mix.

Hi Julie,

I have to say I really like it, I think you have captured the texture of his skin wonderfully, it looks really soft, just how older skin is. :thumbsup:

The only thing that I noticed, and take this with pinch of salt because I'm not really qualified to critique, is that his shoulders seem a little low, or is it his collar where it meets the face? To me it gives the impression that he is a slimmer man with a longer neck.

Carolyn (Bannister)

He'll love it. I think it's fine as it is, personally.

This is a lovely drawing. Older people make great portraits in my opinion because there is so much to render. What I would do, following Jimmie's advice, is to really, really squint down and see the shapes of the values. I think if you brought up the lightest sides of the whole form, forehead, nose, cheek, neck and shirt you will like the dark background better. And I would darken the ear which is in shadow.

It is a beautiful drawing. You have really captured this gentleman and he will love it even if you don't change it from it's current state.

This is a beautiful drawing. But, I agree with Jimmie - since you darkened the background, there are many elements that would dissapear into the background - take nibbles out of his hairline in the shadow side, darken down the shirt at the shoulder.

I've adjusted the levels on your reference just to show you what I mean - hope you don't mind.

Thanks, everyone, for your input. I will try out some things and post this evening, I hope.

The background will stay as is. I'll darken that hair and ear up a bit. Can't really lighten the lighter areas past the paper itself and don't want to add white, since it's not a toned paper and don't think it would look right. There really is more of a value shift than this shows and I will try on the next round to show it better.

Didn't like the white shirt he wore, so am not going to lighten it up. The shirt did lose a bit of area when I started using charcoal in the background. Now it's really going to be too hard to go back and retrieve it - don't think it's worth the bother.

I am more than ready to let this one go. It was fun, but I'm in the midst of the final end-of-school-year frenzy of paperwork and meetings and am tired.

Julie, I think you did a wonderful job here. I'm just looking at this, musing whether you might have had an easier time if you had used a gray-toned paper and whether you should do this for future commissions like this.

I don't think a dark background necessarily means that the shadow side of the face would have to go so much darker. The photo may have been shot with a fill, for example. I guess you can let personal preference decide for you, Julie.

You Reap What You Sow
 

Thanks, Michelle and Linda. You're right, Linda - gray paper with highlighting would have been really nice for this. I wish I had had a sample of that for the client to choose.

You sure do reap what you sow for portraiture:
"I want it just like that" the client says, looking at your samples. So, if you show pictures of kids, you'll get more of the same, samples of elders - ditto. My goal is to get a variety of types of people and samples of only those drawing and painting styles that I prefer to do.

I think this is final
 

Here it is with some more darkening done, and a few touches here and there.

Julie, you've really captured him! I caught this thread earlier today and considered chiming in, but then it looked like you had so much advice to sift through already. You did a great job on sifting through it all and figuring out what would work for you. Beautiful!

Thanks
 

Thanks, Terri -

I'm glad I kept going. I see a few more things - the changing skin tone on (our) left side of the forehead messes up the values and I may fudge that a bit. Plus the shirt on our right side may need a bit more definition and lightening up here and there.

This is really lovely, you really have captured him, I really love all the detail in the texture of his skin. I think your client will be thrilled :thumbsup:

Carolyn (Bannister)

Thanks, Carolyn
 

It's not quite done - you know how it is? Seeing more and more that could be done better? But there has to be a stopping point!

I'm thinking that it's a tad too dark and consequently flat looking on (our) left side of the face. That plus the other things mentioned. It'll be posted again after those things are done.

Wow Julie, you are really progressing quickly. I am looking forward to seeing it finished.

this is so wonderful Julie, more polished, that you have taken it this far. I think it is my favorite of yours. You inspire me to attempt one of my father that I have been thinking about...

Thanks, Ngaire and Patricia-

This picture has me feeling guilty that I've never drawn my own dad.

Anyway, here's the finished version. I can't quite get the contrast right for some reason, but this is fairly close.

I'm happy with it, even if I could keep niggling away at it some more, over more and more minute details. There comes a point in which one has to tell oneself to STOP.

Juliie, I love to capture the elderly's faces and was delighted to see this work. It has turned out wonderful.

Thanks, Enzie -

I really enjoy drawing and painting older people too. There are all kinds of beauty. Our society tends to focus on the youthful type to the exclusion of all others.

Julie -- there is clearly beauty and character in this man's face. You've captured him wonderfully.

Julie, this is lovely! You've captured his age and spirit so nicely. I like wrinkles too, there is a lot of wisdom in that face.

Jean

Thanks!

Julie,
I think I am being picky, but the glasses appear to be slightly off in angle compared to the reference photo which for me creates a slightly disturbing imbalance. Personally I would hate to try to make the correction at this late stage. I also agree with the comments concerning the value shifts, but other than that you have done a very credible piece of work that I am sure your client will love.

Hi Richard -

I see what you mean. Since I lightly traced at the start to get the main things in placement, including his glasses, I'm not sure if it is the glasses or the eyebrows above them that make them look off-kilter. Will have to check.

Always feel free to nit-pick. I am trying to learn to see what is there, not just what I think I should see, so I NEED other eyes and comments. Thanks!

Good drawing, and good likeness! It really does not have to be as dark as the photo to be a good likeness. Turn it in.

Hi Lon - Thanks and I did! The grandson really liked it, but wants to wait until August at the family reunion to unveil it.